American Products vs South African Equilivants
A&W Cream Soda vs Sparletta Cream Soda
Alright, so, aside from the cream soda here being GREEN these two products basically tastes the same. The A&W takes the cake though because they are straight up geniuses for adding vanilla essence to their cream soda which is a hands down win in any situation.
Hershey's Chocolate Bar vs Cadbury Chocolate Bar
Hate to break it to you Hershey's but Cadbury is SOOOOO much better. This chocolate sends your tastes buds on a journey to the center of the earth, and it melts in your mouth so deliciously that if you don't eat it quick enough you basically have Wonka's chocolate waterfalls pouring out of your mouth.
Jack Links Beef Jerky vs Droëwors
We all know what beef jerky is, but how do I explain Droëwors? My only explanation for this South African jerky is EW. What does it taste like? Dried skin of a questionable animal, EW. What does it look like? It looks like beef jerky... Which, let's be honest, doesn't look all that appetizing anyway, so, EW. Jack Links, keep up the good work. You win.
Cheese Balls vs Bubbles
I will be the first one to say that there is almost no other snack food quite as satisfying as cheese balls. To quote one of the greatest minds of our time, "I wish I had a extra finger. Then I could grab more cheese balls." - Honey Boo Boo HOWEVER, bubbles win. Yes, bubbles are better than cheese balls. I mean sure, they don't come in an oversized container that may or may not resemble an artery that's about to explode, but this cheesy delicious product of South Africa will have a special place in my suitcase when I come home.
Cheetos vs Nik Naks
While Cheetos are better than Nik Naks I'm still going to go out and give the win to Nik Naks. For starters, this cheesy snack is made by Simba..... That's awesome. And to win over those of you who don't enjoy anything that even slightly reminds you of your favorite musical lion (what kind of person are you?) this bag has like the coolest rasta dude on it.... Also awesome.
Mountain Dew vs Mountain Dew
I've said it once and I'll keep saying it until I step foot into the land of the free and re-light the flame with my one true love, Mountain Dew. Seriously, I don't understand why I am facing this dilemma it's the same drink same brand same look. I am not Kelly Rowland in a Nelly song, but the longer I go knowing I can't have the dew from back home, the more I relate to the lyrics from that amazing 2002 jam. "... No matter what I do all I think about is you...."
Ball Park Beef Franks vs Red Viennas
Well, in all honesty, it took me about two months to figure out that a Vienna is in fact, a hot dog. Though, being a spoiled first world-er I am far too scared to eat a "hot dog" that is glowing red and I'm not 100% there's any actual beef inside. I did try one once.... Then I made the mistake of asking what it was I was eating. I haven't had one since. Ball Park BEEF franks for the win.
WalMart vs Pick n Pay
K. Come on. Anything> WalMart.
Also, even though pick n pay is the African Walmart, they left the whole "people of Walmart" thing to America, and for that, I thank you Africa.
Target vs Woolworths
Target. Sorry, but it's Target. It's a one stop black hole that has everything you think you need AND a dollar section. Woolworths is awesome, I'll admit. It kind of has a Lunds feel to it and at most of them they sell clothes too, but Tar-Ghetto/Tar-jay Boutique will forever hold a place in my heart. There use to be Woolworths in the US.... If you're old enough, you remember.
Kmart vs Shoprite
Neither wins.
Angry Orchard vs Savanna Dry
TIE! Now you know what to order when you come visit me if you're a fellow non-beer drinker.
Miss you all!
Xo.
