3/19/2014 RIP Matt

Some days when I look out my window overlooking the ocean it's clear and I can see the mountains in the distance very clearly. Other days there aren't any mountains in the distance and it seems like the ocean goes on infinitely. Every day I look out the same window but I never see the same view. Some days the sky is a shade of blue that even Crayola couldn't capture, and others it's filled with clouds that you could spend hours finding shapes in. Some days the ocean is calm and looks as if you could slide across it in a pair of socks like you would on a wood floor, but most days it's wavy and white capped. When the sun sets it takes away every passing thought and consumes you with the notion that must be what Heaven looks like.

 After the sun and the moon cross paths and give each other their greetings you're presented with the night. When you look up from where there was once a landscape you find yourself lost in galaxies that can only shine in the dark. You can touch the ocean, the mountains, and the natural beauty earth offers, but you can't touch the night. You can't reach out and touch the stars. And isn't it what we can have that we always want the most. I want to hold on to all the beautiful things I see. The things that make me feel a kind of peace that I can't control. I want to keep the feeling I get every time I look up at a clear starry sky, but every time I let the feeling go I lose it until it comes back to me on it's own.

 I want to keep my friendships in moments. I want to remember things like in The Butterfly Effect. I want to resurface a moment in time physically and do things differently. But isn't that what we all want? I don't want to go back and change anything drastically, but what I really wish I was capable of is going back to the moments where I had the perfect opportunity to tell someone how much they mean to me. Remind my friends that I love them; say it to their face and have it be genuine and not a casual "oh I love ya". It makes me sort of confused-angry that it's "weird" or an "uncomfortable" thing to tell someone how much they mean to you. I don't ever want to go on again wishing that I would have said something when I had the chance. I don't expect to live a life with no regrets... That's not realistic. If you don't have experiences you regret then how will you ever learn anything? But one thing I am done regretting is not telling my loved ones all the silly random things that make them important to me.

We lost a member of our UND family this week. To some he was apart of the Lakeville family. But ultimately he was apart of the Heisler family. I've known Matt since Century Middle School, but we didn't cross paths and become friends until college. Matt was many things but mainly he was a loyal friend. He could make you laugh. He was willing to make a fool of himself to make your day. He radiated good vibes and smiles. He could bring people together, and even in his death he is bringing people together and filling rooms with smiles and laughter from his memory alone. Losing Matt has been eye opening, shocking, and heartbreaking for so many people. It isn't right. You're not suppose to die when you're 21. You're just not. Death is not suppose to hit close to home. We're surrounded by it, aside from celebrity gossip, death and tragedies seem to be the only things getting recognition on the news. We see it so often that people have become disrespectful to those mourning and gawk as if they're driving by a fender bender on the highway. It isn't until you are within the mourning circle that you realize how messed up it all really is. We must learn to respect the privacy and mourning of the families and close friends of those who have lost someone.

It's not fair how it's always the kindest people who are taken from us. It doesn't seem right considering how many rotten souls there are in the world. Mitch Albom said, "Fairness, does not govern life and death, if it did, no good person would ever die young." It's something that will never be understood, and I don't think understanding would make the feeling any better any way. When we're in pain we look so quickly to place blame rather than look at what God is really trying to show us. God is showing us that we are not infinite, we take our loved ones for granted, and life isn't meant to be fair. We only get a short time on earth, but we get an eternity in heaven. In that light, it seems so childish to spend our lives letting negative emotions consume us while all of our fallen watch down shaking their heads at our behavior.

Every day as I look out the same window, and see a different view, I am reminded to cherish the small moments that may seem meaningless, because when you look back, it's the small stuff that is actually what you hold on to. And every night as I look up at the countless number of stars I am reminded how small I really am in this universe, which makes holding on to negativity seem pretty silly. We have to remember to close our eyes, clear our hearts, and let the bad stuff go. It shouldn't take losing someone to realize and remember these things. As the great Ferris Bueller said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while, you could miss it."

RIP Matt Heisler

You will be greatly missed.
We love you.
Xo.

Some Things I Miss

I have been away from home now for 72 days, and as I am nearly midway through month 3 I thought I would share some things I miss most from back home.

My family

Seriously it's amazing how much I miss my family.... And I'm still talking to them pretty much every day. I've been sick the past week and there's nothing I wanted more than to be lying on the couch, yelling at my mom that I don't feel good, have her respond with "I'm sorry honey what can I do to help", and me yell back "I DON'T KNOW". I miss my dad making fun of me for still being a diehard Spongebob Squarepants fan. I miss chilling on the couch with Donny watching movies that we just sit and quote the entire time. I miss going out with PJ and wrestling in the middle of his frat house, while genuinely concerned people who don't know we're siblings, wonder why no one is stopping us. I miss the comfortable chaos that is my family.

My friends

It is mind boggling. I know I love my friends, like duh, but I never realized how much I would miss the random stuff that I never would have thought made a difference. It's hard going anywhere without them because seriously I have the coolest friends. You can't even argue it because I know I'm right. The thing is that I never knew how completely insane we all actually are until I didn't have them by my side... Suddenly I'm this weird ass american girl who partakes in random dancing, burps like a lumberjack, and comes with a singing commentary of everything I do... To name a few talents. I was driving with my roommate and his friend and I saw some people walking on the sidewalk so naturally I screamed "I LOVE PICKLES!!!" At them.... And no one laughed. I was so confused. What I miss most is the days where we all congregate to one of our beds and make/order a buffet that could feed a small country and have a movie marathon or watch britains got talent auditions for five hours.

I miss eating a whole pizza and then not being judged for still wanting a McChicken with cheese on it. I can't wait until I reunite with these goons again because not sharing every amazing thing I get to do with them is the hardest.


 Mountain Dew

My life without this sweet nectar is so incomplete. I have no clue what to do with the morning monster that is myself without a cold can of Mountain Dew. To avoid being corrected there actually is Mountain Dew in South Africa but it tastes like flat mellow yellow and if you're a real Dew-er then I need no further explanation on why I wouldn't let it anywhere near my precious taste buds.


Taco Bell




I probably talk about Taco Bell on a daily basis. I dream of rolling hills of fiesta potatoes with flowing waterfalls of nacho cheese and sour cream snowcaps. I get goosebumps when I relive the memory of feeling so full I actually unbutton my pants. I yearn for the instant regret and self shaming that comes with subtly searching for a missed nacho chip as you jam the last wrapper into the bag. I can not wait to break through those doors only to be welcomed by smells of questionable beef and grease. Taco Bell I miss you more and more each and every day.

Not having an accent

Dear Barbara how much I cannot wait to not be called out for sounding different. Ask me to say water one more time. It has become one of my more favorite things to tell people that I was actually born and raised in Cape Town and watch them get confused. Yes I'm from America. No I do not know Justin Bieber. No I do not know Miley Cyrus. No I don't know your friend's cousin's sister's friend who went to America on holiday in 1873. At the same time I do enjoy being the foreigner so I'm just complaining for kicks.  

Other things I miss that I'm too lazy to go into detail about:

Flavored Greek yogurt---- it was hard enough finding actual Greek yogurt

My bed--- I cannot wait to collapse onto that cloud I use to sleep on each night

Savers--- I miss my favorite store. I suppose I can handle a year without though. 

My lava lamp-- I count the moments until I can fall under my lava lamp hypnosis

Netflix--- 'Sorry netflix isn't available in this part of the world yet' 

Huge gluten free selections-- it's like being GF before the millennium all over again

Teresa's Mexican Restaurant-- I plan to comsume the entire menu when in return

Not wearing pants--- unfortunately not everyone is as comfortable with undies as I

That's all for now folks!

Xo. 

2/18/2014

Hello everyone!

Sorry I haven't posted since 'Nam. I totally suck at this blogging thing. So much has been going on I've been completely zonked by the end of the day. All I can say is that it is going great on my side of the world. I've been learning all sorts of new things including some words in Afrikaans, none of which I remember or am actually saying correctly. I've become trained in for belaying, first aid, and life coaching which is all pretty sweet. We've also been doing a lot of mountain hikes, archery, tomahawking (old school hatchet throwing), african drumming, and a whole bunch of swimming. 

We. Eat. So. Much. Chicken. 

We've had a run in with baboons coming into camp trying to snag some grub. One managed to run off with a head of lettuce... Must be watching his figure. Later when we were talking with the baboon monitors I learned the dieting baboon was named Merlin, he's 16 years old, has lost most of his teeth, and he is the alpha in the troop. Those guys are huge though for real! It was pretty cool to experience. While Merlin and his monkey friend were busy raiding camp you could see the rest of the troop up on the mountain watching. A few were chillen on a big rock not too far up from camp and you could see a baby baboon walking around and having his hair cleaned, he was super tiny so he was adorable. 

During first aid training we learned about all the obvious first aid stuff, but we also had to learn about all the creepy crawleys that you can find around camp including some crazy venomous snakes like the puff adder and the cape cobra. One bite from one of those guys and you'll be a goner in about an hour.... So that's reassuring.

That one is the cape cobra

,

This guy is a puff adder

Pretty nasty, eh?

I should be getting my camera cord pretty soon so I'll be able to upload some legit pictures for you all to gawk over. In the meantime here are some low quality pictures from my iPad for you to see...

 It has been HOT lately, especially when there is no wind, I've been loading on the SPF in hopes to defend my ginger skin from the killer rays, unfortunately it hasn't worked so well in my favor. I've sprouted more freckles than I can count and my hair is beginning to turn white in some places. I have complete faith that once I'm home I'll bounce right back to my pale self in no time, but for that short amount of time I will be tanner than all of you Minnesotans and I will be sure to let you know every chance I get. 

Some bad news though......... I've started picking up their slang. I CAN'T HELP IT! I haven't started sounding funny or anything, but I've started using phrases that I've heard nonstop since I've been over here. For example.... This is so embarrassing... 

Instead of saying "the truck" it is now comfortably called "the bakke" (pronounced bucky)

A BBQ  is no longer a BBQ but rather a "braai" 

Instead of replying to something with a phrase like "oh really?!" I now say "is it?!"

And instead of saying "that sucks" or "that's too bad" or "bummer" it's perfectly normal to just say "shame"

Don't worry though I've gotten my revenge as my roommates now use the word "like" a lot. Which is enough for me! 

Thanks to modern technology I've been able to Skype and FaceTime with my friends and family almost daily. It's really helpful otherwise I would be tragically homesick and feel like I was totally on another planet. The good news that I haven't been homesick and cried yet.. So that's cool because it's totally got me shocked. I'm a big baby. Strangely enough after two months I already feel at home. My roommates feel like siblings and it's fun having them to laugh and banter with. 

I miss my dog Fargo though. Like a lot. More than most people... No offense guys. If you have a dog you understand. So I can't wait to see him most of all. 

I still miss all of you and can't wait to see you all in 10 1/2 more months! Time flies, hey? 

Xo.

Skype me if you feel like it! KronkMcSpanky 

1/27/2014

Hey guys!

I spent my weekend hosting my first camp with another intern, Tarryn. It was a lot of fun but not overwhelming for us because we totally lucked out and got a group that had been coming for quite some time now and one of the leaders was actually a former intern here at Rockland's. The main leader was Janet, if you don't remember she was the woman I stayed with in Fish Hoek for a few days, who is also a trustee and has been around for 25 years. So it's safe to says that this camp knew the ropes quite well. Sunday I got locked in the bathroom. I got out of the shower to find that the door handle broke from inside the door and we had to drill out the window. I felt like I was escaping from prison so it was pretty cool. It gave us all a good laugh.

We've continued our training and start programming this week which means that we will lead campers in assorted activities throughout the day like the climbing wall, drumming, the initiatives course, archery, tomahawking, etc. Today we went out with the campers to the initiatives course and watch as they worked together to complete all of the obstacles together. Tonight we took them up the mountain trail for a night hike. It went pretty well. Only one camper twisted her ankle but aside from that it was a good time. I saw a few different spiders and some hissing cockroaches (at least I think that's what they were).

On an ending note I found ketchup! If you know my family you should know that ketchup may as we'll be its own food group. I finally spotted it at the grocery store and actually dropped to my knees and hugged the bottle of ketchup. Tarryn was with me and she stood there looking at me like I was completely insane and kept telling me to get off the ground. Eventually, I got up.... But only to sprint to the check out counter. All around it has been a pretty good week!

Xo

I think I figured out how to add photos!

1/20/2014

Hello everyone!

I apologize for my lack of posting. I've been keeping myself busy with getting settled, meeting the other interns, and starting training.

The first week of training went really well. I met the other interns, Tarryn, Christine, Charnel, Simon, and Matthew, who I also with be sharing a house with over the next year. We're all relatively close in age, but this is the first time I've been one of the older ones out of the group. I share a room with Tarryn and Charnel, Simon and Matthew shard a room, and Christine has her own because it's her second year at Rocklands. Our house overlooks the ocean and it equipped with two bathrooms, a kitchen, living room, and three bedrooms. It's very comfortable.

We've spent a lot of time training so far. This last week we spent learning knots and rock climbing which I think I've got a knack for as it has been coming pretty easy to me. What hasn't come all that easily is trying to get my sleep schedule on track. Being 8 hours ahead has proven to be pretty difficult. I find myself dozing off during the day and waking up at strange hours at night, but it will sort itself out.

The other interns are from Cape Town so they get to go home on thief days off, and I am totally jealous of that. This last weekend I kept myself busy when everyone went home. Friday, I went into Simon's Town and walked around for a bit, then had dinner at a place by the beach. I had calamari that was stuffed with shrimp and it was so good I'm drooling thinking about it. Saturday, I went downtown with some friends I know from Africa Jam and had a good night with them. Unfortunately I dropped my phone in a toilet and it has decided that it's finally had enough of my shenanigans and went to iPhone heaven... Luckily I still have my iPad, so I'm not completely unplugged.

The view here is breath taking. I can't even give it the credit it deserves. It's like living in a dream world. However, my favorite part is the stars at night. They're so big and bright it's hypnotizing. I've said it a million times, but I really do wish I could take pictures with my eyes so I could share the world the way I see it.

Though night is my favorite time it is also a dreaded part of the day because it brings home sickness to surface. I didn't feel it much at first, but after three weeks it's starting to sneak up on me every now and then. It really doesn't bother me too much, really, I knew it was going to happen eventually... It's only natural Honestly though, when I wake up mornings after being homesick I feel downright ridiculous for being all somber when I get to wake up to such an amazing place, not the mention how many people would be more than happy to be in my position (especially the ones freezing in the blizzards back home).

I really do love it here. I don't ever want to leave! Luckily, I don't have to for another 11 months. I'll  try to post some pictures I've taken so you can see (if you haven't already on my Facebook) if I could ever figure out this stupid blog thing... We'll see. Anyway, that's all for now because I'm pretty tired. I'll try to be better about posting!

Until later!

Maggie
Xo

Africa Jam Camp

Well here we are on day 3 of Africa Jam camp and it has been going great! A lot of positive energy from the campers and staff has made being tired in the morning well worth it. We have teens here from a number of townships, and by the end of day 1 everyone has already started making new friends. All of us staff have divided up into different tasks varying from life guarding, counseling, fun squad, clean up crew, patrol, etc. I started camp as a life guard but was quickly recruited as a member of the fun squad for the week. Our job is to lead the campers in activities throughout the day and make sure energy levels stay high and everyone is getting involved.

The first day we welcomed the campers as they got off the buses and got them all checked in. Later on we had to divide the campers into teams that they will be on the rest of the week. We led them in a bunch of games and dancing after they had all arrived. At night we had evening worship followed by small group devotions and then snack. The first night the fun squad put on a show similar to Comedy Sportz (improv entertainment) and the campers took really well to it. By the end of the night we were all ready for bed.

Day two we started with breakfast and I say with a group of girls around the ages of 13-16. They showed me pictures of themselves and friends and filled me in on who the "cute boys" at camp were. I also shared pictures of my family and friends with them. PJ and Donny now have a growing fan club here in Cape Town.... Big surprise there. After breakfast we meet in the chapel area for a large group bible study kind of deal where the camp theme "Enlarge My Territory" was introduced and one of the leaders, Mr. X, gave a small sermon. Then we broke off into small groups and discussed in depth what we had just learned about.

After small groups we headed to the gym to play circle scavenger which is a game where the teams they were divided into the day before all send up different representatives to compete in different tasks. Walking into the gym I had a camper pull me aside to ask if she could speak with me. As I walked outside with her I was expecting her to ask me something simple, perhaps about what home for me was like, but when we got outside she opened with, "Do you fear death?"

It took me back for a moment and I stood there thinking to myself, how can I possibly come up with the right answer? Do I fear death? She stood there looking at me to say something and after a few moments I finally tried to explain how I thought that each person has their own interpretation of the "correct" answer to that question but as an end result I don't think that people really fear death but rather what they will miss when they are gone. So maybe it isn't dying that is feared but the fear instead is not living. We carried on talking on a nearby rock for nearly an hour and a half. She told me about the things that's were troubling her back home, personal battles she has faced and defeated along with those that she is still fighting with. She spoke about how important it was to her to get an education, talked about her friends, and how she feels misunderstood by her peers. Near the end of our conversation I realized I didn't even know this girls name. It left me completely amazed that this perfect stranger confided in me and looked to me for the right answer. After I learned her name we spoke for a few more minutes and she ran off to join her friends during free time. It only occurred to me after she left that we had been sitting in direct sunlight and I wasn't wearing sunscreen.... Sunburn well worth it.

Later in the day I met with Vyan, she and her husband are directors of Rockland's Centre and I will be working for them over the next year. We drove to a home down the way with another family, who will also be working here at Rockland's, to meet with a woman named Susan. After a short visit we hiked back to camp and Vyan also showed me how to identify porcupine droppings! After evening worship the staff put on a talent show which was really a variety of skits to entertain the campers. After that we had snack ad sent the campers off to bed. By the end of day two my body was sore from constant movement and sunburn and I was totally ready to crash.

Each night at evening chapel is an amazing experience. Their ways of worship are very different from church back home. Here it is all singing and dancing and it is completely consuming. Looking around the room at evening chapel is very moving. Watching as everyone puts their entire soul into worshiping is really something. Every night we have a different speaker who comes into camp and preaches to the campers with a sermon that is relevant to the expanding your territory theme.

The first we had a man, Pastor Kennedy, who came and gave a very moving sermon and personalized t so well that everyone in the room felt that they could relate. He told us the story of Jabez and how he prayed to God to help him enlarge his territory   He went on to tell us of all the things he has lost; a child, his job, his money, his car, his phone, everything had been taken from him except his faith. He spoke how he held on to God and how he has been given new opportunities that have been changing the way he lives and how he is expanding his territory.

The second night we had a woman speaker names Dominique Adams. Dominique began her sermon in a more playful way by having the campers imagine there was a machine that you could put anything into and have it become enlarged. She then spoke of her own personal struggles that started at a young age with physical abuse which later became sexual abuse. She spoke about her failed suicide attempt and how she was admitted into the hospital on suicide watch for a few months after. Then about how she had fallen in love, only to lose him to cancer. Then again how she fell in love with the man she is now happily married to and started a family, but then fell I'll during her pregnancy and was bed ridden for 7months and lost half her body weight. She encouraged the camp to see that when everything seems to be going horribly wrong that by continuing to worship and looking to God it will all turn out right and she is now blessed with two sons. She closed in a song that all of the campers seemed to know and ended her sermon on a very powerful note.

Africa Jam camp so far has been incredible and I am very fortunate to be a part of it. There is so much joy and music that it brings out a light in everyone and it is super contagious. I swear everyone here can sing and dance. It's like a country of Beyoncé's. As I get to know more and more campers and staff here I've found that we really aren't that different but we just have different battles to face. I've been in this country for 5 days and I already feel I am at home here. Don't get me wrong I know where my roots are and I miss my friends and family more than anything, but I can already feel myself growing into a person that I am more proud to be. Not to mention that I am physically sore from all the activity I've been doing. At this rate I can't wait to see what I can make of this experience.

Keep checking back! Xo
Maggie

P.S. You may all want to punch me for saying this considering I'm in 80 degree weather...... But I also miss wearing my oversized sweaters, leggings, and smart wools.